Im Back

hey..
really never update for ages..
i really not in the mood of updating since the mid term exam..
talking bout mid term exam..
damn shit weh...
my D, D, D and D gone edi..
flying up in the sky to somewhere far far away from me..
haiz....
my MU dream gone..
my RMIT maybe also gone..
where am i going then..?
UTAR???? eik....a big NO NO..!!!!
not that UTAR not good...
just that i need some place that is far from here..
hahaha..a place that i really can start a new life without my friends...


actually my results are expected la..
because i can't understand a single thing since lecture 1..
i mean for ALL the subjects..
starting now i should study edi..
but where is my studying mood..???
i lost the mood since SPM ends..
feeling old edi...
can't absorb as easy as last time..
now i understand why people say old edi will be hard for studying..
or....i'm taking that as an excuse to cover my laziness?
i think the second option is obviously what i'm thinking now..
hahahaha...!!!!!

hmm...let's see what've happen this while..
i can't really remember anything..
as you know my life is just as simple as a plain white paper..
with no content in it at all...
hmm..ok..let's talk bout last weekend..
my parents went Guilin since last wednesday..
and was back yesterday..
during the weekend..i'm back in Ipoh to be 2 person's babysitter-my sister and my grandma..
and now i know how pity a mother is when taking care of people..
how my mum tahan my sister and I when i'm in Ipoh?
hahaha...im wondering has my mum ever get frustrated when taking care of me..??
i think so she had....i'm just not so easy to satisfy when i'm with my mum coz my mum can give me almost everything..!!!
haha..i love you mum!

i had a great laugh when my father tell me things happen in Guilin..
haha...my mum is just have no sense of direction..
my dad said she even get lost in a small small hotel lobby..
hahaha..i really can't imagine how my mum go out alone..
no wonder she always says she can't live in KL alone..
hahahahaha...

lastly...
just wanna express something...
friends who ever see this don't ask me anything and don't do anything, ok?
it's a promise....
i feel myself more being leftout..
i feel like i've lost all my friends nowadays..
i know they are busy..
i know they have thier life..
but i don't think they've ever find me out even when they are free..
i'm the one always finding them...
am i..?
my mum always ask...
why must i maintain those friendship that they never notice me here...
i always thinking of that question..
why...? i think because i love them..
i don't know how i'll be without them..
i don't know how i get through all those days without them..
i only know they are important in my life..
but as people says...
how important a people is...they are all just a passing by in my life..
is that so..?
i don't want them to be my passing by guest..
i want them to be with me all the time..
i mean..not all the time..but at least don't leave me alone..
they have gangs of friend..
they still can meet each other every single day..
but i'm not that often to be in hometown..
and when i'm in hometown they will always be busy..
and now i'm leaving soon...
4 months+ i'm leaving...
i'm sure after i leave i'll have a greater gap between us..
maybe i'm the one causing this coz i don't really trying to adapt to the new style..
friends..no matter what..i really care bout how you treat me..i really do...
~finish of expressing...remember the promise you made just now..~

=)
let's talk bout another issue now..
i've been dreaming of the same person over and over again..
whenever i dream bout him...i always feel that my heart is burning..
really burning..like..i still can feel my tears on my face when i wake up..
can't he just leave my life completely..
why must all his actions..all his innocent looks..his everything still stay so clearly in my mind...?
somemore there's always someone to tell me something bout him...
always not the same person to tell me things bout him..
why are there so many people saw him and wanted to report to me..?
what you expect my respond to be when you tell me he's with a girl..?
what you expect my respond to be when you tell me he's smsing with girls?
can i like be one of those girls..?
i can't...i forever can't...
coz im in another catogory of people in his life..
being abundant..hahaha..like an abundant child..
dont be silly..
i still can live my life with full of cheers without YOU..(maybe...=P...)